Saturday, December 31, 2005

tonight

Why do places feel the need to close early on the day before ole years?? Really, when all you want is a place to chill - even a restaurant or whatever, they're closed EARLY. One exception = Boston Pizza. Gotta love BP! Yeah, i quit my job there and I don't really choose to eat there anymore BUT they know what's good (and they have the team pitcher). Tonight, some of my cousins n my brother wanted to go out...too much inside time for them. First we thought we'd see a movie but we're running on west indian time, soo never made it on time :S Then, it was pool but I wasn't into that soo i bepped out, lol. Of course, it's not the same if EVERYONE isn't there , soo they convinced me to go chill somewhere else. Since other places were CLOSED, we ended up at BP. Yes, i know i mentioned this before but right now that's the point i'm at in my story.
Some good times were had...that's not really surprising tho, i love my family...esp. my cousins - we just all understand each other. I thought that since tomorrow is the big new years party/ole years nite that I would start the drinking early...
For some reason i don't remember I ordered a rickard's red...WTF? I'm not really a beer person EXCEPT for Corona ......gotta love the imports :D
So, i get a pint of Rickard's and i'm wondering how i'm gonna finish it while also thinking that it's bad luck not to finish it. Very tricky situation.
I did finish it tho..u know, gotta avoid bad luck at every turn. Right now, it's 3:11 am and i'm feeling not sooo super. I don't like Rickard's red...atleast not right now. I realise this now when it's all over and done with. Oh well..it was good while it lasted.
Next time i think i'll stick to my corona or some kinda mixed drink.
some ppl say you don't know til you KNOW soo i guess it's all good. I'm not sure about that tho, i'll have to think about it.
Yeah...so that's my story for tonite. MMMMMMMMMMM corona, ewwwwwww Rickards.
The thing that I can't figure out is how the hell i ended up with beer when I wanted Cider?? Lol..soo much to think yet I don't really care.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

INSIDE


I hadn't been clubbing in over a year! soo friday nite was a big deal in that sense...the day didn't go as planned though. First I missed out on King Kong with the Ching crew, then I missed dinner with them because family has a way of just showing up (uninvited, lol).
So, after all the missed times I had to do something to redeem myself. :)
What did i choose to do? I went to Inside nightclub.
It was some good times, after an hour in line and not getting guestlist price..still worth it.
Some friends i know from church were there too...Now i know that i'm a sinner, some of them could cause mischeif but for the most part, they were good.
I was worried about just how much of my clubbing antics would get back to the church on sunday, and i didn't think the things i did at a club would be the right things to discuss with our congregation but really everyone loves gossip.
All those thoughts quickly disappeared when I caught up with my good friend "Corona", LOL. After some quality time with my drinks, I didn't care who said what or where that what was said.
The club was good, music was good soo really it was just a good nite. Dancing, alcohol and good company = no complaints.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Church


Do you know the christmas story? NO? well you should have come to church with me today, lol. Every year the kids in our church put on a play for the congregation depicting Christ's birth. The kids really look forward to it, the adults too because it's one day the lil ones behave in church and not complain about how long the service is.
Today's pageant was different from the traditional one we always do, there was a REAL baby as Jesus and parents were all dressed up too.
I was director of the angels. It seemed simple enough, get them into their costumes (with wings of course), line them up and send them down the aisle when it was their turn.
One problem? I had script 1, and this morning they switched to script 2 :S
Soo, the angels missed their cue and a short-lived panic enveloped the directors.
Solution? Send them up with the wise men, and instead of singing their song, sing with the wise men.
When they got to the top of the stairs, one angel had to say "fear not...we're sent by God" BUT the littlest angel just looked to the back and pointed me out saying "noo noo, kelly sent us..she sent us late too!" LOL, little kids - gotta love their innocence.

overall it was good, nothing else was off except for my angels but really that was my special contribution to the play, made it quite memorable. :)

Saturday, December 17, 2005

only one more week


It's almost Christmas time...yay. Lol, I love Christmas - really I doooooooo BUT today was one of those 'test-your-nerve-by-making-you-jump-thru-hoops' days soo just keep that in mind.

In my family (which is made up of a lot of ppl), we all look forward to seeing all the gifts under the tree and all the lights, decorations etc. The one part everyone dreads is actually delivering those presents. Why would someone dread that? Because there are soo many of them to drop off. Every household distributes about 50 gifts to the rest of the family...now really that's a lot of stuff. and when it's heavy glassware or breakable randomness, it's just sooo much more fun.
TODAYYY I not only had to deliver MY share, but gifts from two aunts as well as one of my uncles. Seriously, I drive a neon where did they think this would all fit?? OOh I also had a carload of ppl with me.
AND the highways were trafficky...leaving me no choice but to drive thru stupid slow streets that took me FOREVER to get into toronto, forever to get to each house there and forever to get back home.

Yes, right now there are still gifts sitting in the trunk of my car...some may even be in the garage. all i know is I'm inside, warm and content for the time being and nothing is gonna make me go deliver gifts tonite - nuthin, yo.

I guess even tho I can take dr.phil, even challenge oprah, SANTA-ing is far beyond my abilities. That old man has some serious skills, lol.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

...santa?

forwards that jus won't stop, lol

Fwd a)
we won d match against bahrain!!
we made history on 16th November,2005!!
we are going 2 germany 4 the world cup!!
the soca warriors did great and are now preparing 2 go 2 germany.
everyone's excitied and we need 2 show our support 2 d warriors.
we have 2 thank god 4 all the blessings he showered on us and hopedat we'll do well in germany. this iz a good luck chain.
for each person you send this 2 a drop of good luck will bebestowed on the soca warriors. if u dont send this on it doesnt mean bad luck will happen 2 you
Like in most crappy chain letters but it jus mean u dont want 2support your country, it means dat u dont care about the warriorsand it means ur not patriotic.even if ur not superstitious, jus send this on 2 show u support ur country 100% maybe good luck mite b even bestowed on you.
i sent this 2 u cuz i'm a supporter !!!


Fwd b)

[ Read this......As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt before because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. ]

Monday, November 21, 2005

quote

The greatest thing a human soul ever does in this world
is to see something and tell what it saw in a plain way.
Hundreds of people can talk for one who can think,
but thousands can think for one who can see.
To see clearly is poetry, prophecy and religion, all in one.
- John Ruskin

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Soca Warriors show how it's done





Trinidad and Tobago beat Bahrain today 1-0.....waaaaaaaaat, lol. That means that they're now one of the final 32 teams taking part in World Cup 2006 next year in Germany :D
I'm soooooo happy -- they played well today and given that the goalkeeper needs work, I'm hoping they work some kind of magic when official play starts.
TnT looked like such a different team out there on the pitch, and the commentary today was just enough to keep you interested, lol. I swear every so often an "oh deary me" would be heard from those commentators that made me wonder just what they would say were it not for censorship...

Towards the end of the game, Bahrain was showing signs of stress they were just MEAN and didn't really care what they did. I will say the attempt on goal in stoppage time was brilliant on Bahrain's part... and even though he made some good saves, TnT's keeper just wasn't up to mark this game.
I was so afraid for my team though, I heard gunshots in the background and in my mind I thought it couldn't be too safe...I mean if fans were throwing water bottles onto the pitch, what was to stop them from taking aim, hmm?



It was said that when TnT flew over to Bahrain, they were only provided with FIVE soccer balls for practice...and Bahrain banned tnt's rhythm section from entering the stadium with their instruments! that's just messed up - I had to listen to some man singing/chanting in some Bahranian style throughout the entire game, lol.

In the end all that mattered was that Trinidad won and qualified. Why? Because that's was their mission, and because Bahrain tried everything to break them before the match and winning 1-0 was the perfect way to show them that.


Sunday, November 13, 2005

whyyyyy?

Why do ppl find it necessary to speak in ways which make them seem like they lack the ability to think for themselves? LoL...soo much of that going around in today's world. I understand there are words that just stand out sometimes....but really just because something is emphasized does not mean that you have to over do it! For instance the word still... A normal person would just say "I still have a lot of work to do" or even "I have work to do still.."

Young'uns today just killed that word.
THEY say it like "that's arite, STYLLLL"
or to express something is to their liking "that's sick, STYLLLL"
yes, notice the difference, still and STYLL.
It's so messed up, one kid was soo wrapped up in this thug talk he actually introduces himself like "my name is Ali, STYLLL" wtf?? is he really saying his name is Ali or that his name is still ali, like did it change.. what? Damn this madness..it's gotta stop, lol.

What the hell is wrong with these - vocab. challenged, repped up, reffed out, don't need an education, 2 cool for school, ghetto thug - wannabes?

I mean it's all the same now... guys walking around like they own the world, girls walking around like that owned world revolves around them and only them...
they're all so pre-occupied with their own view of reality that NoNe of them are leaders...only a bunch of followers, trying to conform so they can say they're so alike. It probably helps them sleep better at nite knowing they're all the same, I dunno.
ANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD those who claim that they know the way..that they aren't just some cut out who follows anyone else, fuck you.
They follow this notion of how they should act so that they'll be perceived by others as tough and all that...it's not getting them anywhere. If someone did something because they wanted to, there wouldn't be half this shit going on today.
When a 15 yr. old girl is fighting another girl for a "man" and esp. when that man is just a boy who isn't there to step up for her because he wants to be a playa, that's fucked up...when that same 15 yr old girl is reppin gang x, because everyone and their brother is reppin them in school, that's fucked up. Kids today need to grow up, think a lil bit and maybe they'll be ready to step out into reality.
WHYYY are these kids the way they are?? Because they're fucked up. They think they know too much and because they get their way too damn much.

e.g. you love your child, think they're better than anyone else on earth etc. YOu tell them this, it's just gonna make them feel soo superior and know that you think of them like that...AND Even if you keep your kid locked in the house except for school or taking them out with you, when they get time on their own like in school they are gonna rebel like never before, even if you've given them a good life. When I say rebel it's gonna be in their way..doesn't have to be the stereotypical assumptions.
It's true, and nobody can deny it. Only way to really avoid a future thug wannabe on your hands...teach them , discipline them and make damn sure they know you wont lie for them.. if they lie to you and you lie to yourself cuz you dont wanna believe they're bad, then you're creating that thug.

...Dr. Phil, you've got nothing on me - nothing, lol.
As for Oprah...she's gonna rule the world one day, got nothing on me either, but can't mess with her :D

Friday, November 11, 2005

Friday

End of the week, soo it's time to reflect...or so i've been told to do.
Something about it making life seem so much more worth it and what not.
Why not? I'll try it...
Started tutoring this week....Gr. 11 Bio and Finite Math.
FINITE MATH!
If only Mr. Boyd could see me now, lol.
I used to skip soo many of those classes, that's when I found out Ching staff actually had a list of students who were "bad" :S
..yes I secured a top ten spot on it in OAC -- only cuz I couldn't stand going to class so often. Everyday, now that's really asking a bit much, lol.
Tutoring makes me feel like i'm the smartest person out there, you know I even caught myself singing the "smart song" that Homer Simpson sings ....
i know you know what I'm talking about, no need to front.
lol..I know that you know that I know u know that episode when homer's singing
"I am so smart, S-M-R-T"
LoL....yes, I'm just that smart. It's all good though, this gives me something to do while i'm on this break from school...and while I'm loving the time off, I miss it. don't get me wrong...I don't miss the classes (hell NO), just the ppl and random times that could be had if I were there.
Being home has advantages, but time to think and reflect is not necessarily one of them. I swear I find ways to get myself into trouble when I'm not even doing anything that would be troublesome. HOW? I have no clue. And when I say trouble I'm not talking trouble like "oo noooo i'm gonna get into trouble for this, grounded and shit like that" but trouble like "damn, why did i wanna take apart the microwave in the first place...now how do i fix it??"

yeah...random things that make me wonder what makes me do the things I do. It's not for attention...I just do it cuz it's something to do, and that's not a good reason either. Hmm....quite the pickle i'm in wouldn't you agree? LoL....I'm too tired to make sense of this, sooo i'm gonna get me some coffee. :D

Friday, November 04, 2005

Teeth




Damn this process called teething!
Old teeth moving to make space for new teeth,
new teeth coming from God knows where and it hurts! :S
Soo this is the situation...
after years of indecision, my wisdom teeth have decided that it is finally time to make their debut and I'm in P A I N!!! Advil, Tylenol, misc. meds...nothing works.
Whyyyy??? :(
I have no idea...
The way I figure it is...I have enough teeth and i think as far as wisdom goes, I have nothing against acquiring it with age :D sooo, I don't really need these wisdom teeth. nope, not me.

I went in search of some info. and this is what i found...

"Wisdom teeth, also known as third molars are the last teeth to erupt.
This occurs usually between the ages of 17 and 25.
There remains a great deal of controversy regarding whether or not these teeth need to be removed. "

REMOVED?!? Hell NOOOOOOOO , niccuh! LOL.


Eid Mubarak !

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Happy Diwali!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Trinidad

I'm missing Trinidad more and more these days...haven't been back for 5 years! That's just crazy, lol. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like I have to go back...I have to be there - even if it's only for a little while. Of course when the time comes to go, I get scared and don't want to go, I don't really understand that part.

I remember back when i started school there, the uniforms and everything...i did some stupid things...I used to run things, lol. My mom was a teacher, and she knew soo many ppl soo i was like this priviledged child....yes i was spoiled. I was in the equiv. of gr. 1 but it was soo much fun......
My best friend was a boy named Runcy, lol. He was my protector, if i wanted something done he would take care of it etc. He was always there for me...he even tied my shoes for me! LOL.
Then there was this girl named Raquel i think....yeah i hated her ok hate is too strong..i disliked her more than anyone can dislike another person - she was just so stupid. I was so mean to her too, but our teacher was friends with my mother...so i never got in trouble :)
One day she called me spoiled (the worst thing everrrr) so i took the new pencil she was showing off earlier that day , broke it into littly pieces and put them back on her desk....
Needless to say, she never gave me attitude again LOL.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Birthday Wishes

Today is a special day...soo many birthdays!
Happy 12th to my cousin Dylan, always getting into some kinda mischief.
Amit and Ed, Happy 21st!

Sunday, October 23, 2005

...?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Saturday, October 22, 2005

homework

my 12 year old cousin D. is the funniest person ever.... he lives in trinidad and last week in school he had to write the differences between 2 pictures in his text book.

there were different categories ...seems soo simple but he's just unique soo this is what he handed in :

a) Pic 1) Indian
Pic 2) Negro

b) Pic 1) fair
Pic 2) black

c) type of hair:
Pic 1) smooth
Pic 2) RUGGED

his teacher wasn't tooo impressed though and he called him up to his desk....

teacher: your work is wrong

D: wha u mean sir?

teach: well you should have said dark brown NOT black
and DO NOT say negro either!
BOYY u racial?!?

D: i dunno, waz dat?

teach : jus choose yes or no

D: well den yeahh!

teach: look boy, go and sit down!

heheh...yepp fun times at school for my cuz. what he really had to do was say whether the pic was of a male or female, and the different colour clothing they had etc.

Friday, October 21, 2005

spelling bee



my 12 year old sister kimberly was taking part in her school's spelling bee.
Being the responsible older sister that i am, i was testing her the night before...
I told her to spell confusion, she asked me to use it in a sentence.. so placed on the spot i said "i couldn't find my shoes and i was confusioned" LOL...that didn't go too well with her.
Needless to say i didn't have to test her for the rest of the night.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Cheltenham Badlands



first, this place was like nothing i've ever seen & second, its name just fit.. lol Okay, I like the name sooo that's why :P
As soon as I saw it, I thought it looked like "sleeping dinosaurs" and I had this bad feeling about walking through the place as if the dinosaurs would wake up and get me :S
LOL...in reality there are no dinosaurs, it's a dried out sea bed that existed a looonnng time ago. It's strange to trek through the badlands though, because it's like being somewhere so different...
It's weird how when you're isolated you think of the worst that could happen...ppl say it's to prepare yourself should those things actually take place. For me, while I was in the middle of nowhere, exploring so-called BADlands, i kept wondering "what if aliens were there?? or what if some creature was there??" then...crazy as i am i started to think about what if i got LOST there?
In the end i had a good time and the dinosaurs didn't wake up, soo that's all that matters lol.

21st Birthday



I turned 21 on the 4th of October :D That day wasn't really a big deal, and i didn't really do anything but last saturday I had a party at my house with my family and some friends to celebrate this landmark age, lol.
Since the beginning of September I was fasting (no meat, no alcohol), soo when I finally got to break it there was nooo turning back, lol.

That night was all put together by my parents and random aunts and cousins...they know I love them, lol. I was sooo stubborn for the week leading up to the party - i knew I could take advantage of turning 21 and i did, lol. I made sure that I stated I would NOT be running around doing anything on saturday in preparation for the party...yes, i know that wasn't nice. Once saturday came, I felt guilty and I decided to run around like a crazy person trying to get last minute things in the nick of time. I was at the lcbo at 7pm when the party was supposed to be starting at 8!! I was sooo stressed AND i couldn't find my ID when i was there...not good. Then I had to pick up my own cake : the girl in the fortinos bakery looked at me with this sympathetic look...or maybe it was just annoyance because I was an hour late to pick it up...who knows??

After all of that, things were all good. The party went off without any "brown-anigans" (no petty fighting or anything stupid happening), lol.
I had a funtastic time because really I had some amazing friends there with me. I love my family, but without my friends I would go crazy :D


There's a saying that goes "friends will take you but not bring you back" ..west indian parents like to tell their kids that to teach them not to be a follow-er lol and to make their own choices because it means that friends can lead you into something but can't get you out, or something like that.
That doesn't apply to my friends though...atleast I don't believe it does, I trust them.

To everyone who was here that nite, esp. Sofiea, Tim, Vicki, Tony, Ryan, Kyster, Amit, Adrian, Claudia and Anant... thank you for the memories.
ooo and I will admit i was sooo tipsyyy but i was NOT drunk LOL.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

oh noo


i am in a blogout...
i'm not able to write things without scrutinizing the words until i delete them.
this isn't good - hopefully it's just a phase LOL.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

field trip


Two weeks ago I went back to Ching. It was a year and a half since I had been there...but it was good. I remember when I left to go to university, I always wanted to go back or turn time back. I liked being in high school...not for the classes, but the people :)
Ching is different though, people don't really mix anymore. There's so much tension for stupid things and kids are fighting just to prove themselves.

I remember the last day of OAC, I was just sad. I kept thinking that I wasn't gonna be able to see my friends everyday like I was used to. That's one thing that scared me the most about leaving ching, and I swear I used to wish time would just freeze.
It's different now though because so much time has passed, and I still miss the fun times in high school but I wouldn't go back, its .

After stepping into Ching, it's hard to explain it but the school felt small somehow...like I had outgrown it. Everything is still in the same place, but now by stairway in the corner of the french and business hallways, there's an elevator that goes down into the science hall.
The school is crowded...something like 1600 students, 20 portables and 128 staff. Ohh and I found out that Mr. Rosario went to a new school in Mississauga, fun times for all :)

Monday, September 26, 2005

so true..



there's a saying that goes something along the lines of 'give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and you'll feed him for life.'

well...with libras it's all about decisions.

Give a libra a choice, confuse them for the moment... but teach a libra to choose and you'll enlighten them for life LOL.

?

When you feel like you know everything, life is good. You don't think that there's a problem you won't be able to solve....THEN out of the blue - the BLUE! you're faced with some random situation where you don't know what the hell to do.
Lol...it always happens like that ...it's this vicious cycle. I've come to accept it as part of life - fate maybe. Maybe i'm not supposed to have all the answers...but then if i'm not supposed to have all the answers, how come I can solve my problems?? That's right, I can solve my problems...i think i'm supposed to have the answers - they should be mine, maybe. hmm...i'll have to give this one some thought. I think this is a random situation, I don't know if i can figure this one out...I should be able to. Shouldn't I?

Life

A long time ago in a Cherokee village, a little boy asked his grandfather to tell him a story.

The grandfather began, "inside of me there is a fierce battle. There are two wolves and they are constantly fighting, one trying to overthrow the other. One wolf is greedy, he is conniving , he wants everything for himself. He has only hatred in his heart - he is evil. The other wolf is generous, benevolent, kind. He is gracious, loving - he is good. These two wolves live inside of me, and everybody else too! They even live in you. The wolves are both strong and they are always fighting, they never rest!"

Then the little boy asked "so which one is going to win?"

The old man looked at his grandson's innocent face and simply replied "the one that you feed."



This was part of the sermon at church yesterday...the msg was we have to live the life we have been given before it's taken away....choices along the way are just pieces of the puzzle.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

memories




When you're sneaking out to a club, it's good that you go somewhere that you know you won't get caught....
A long time ago..maybe two years, my younger cousins and my brother wanted to go to calypso hut - apparantly it was the place to be back then, lol. If i didn't go with them, they couldn't go out that night so I gave in and we left the house to go to a movie lol.
Somehow we ended up at the club, feeling all good that we got that far. Outside there was this brown lady selling some nice necklaces with blue lights that were really bright and eye-catching... my brother bought a couple of them and 2 of my cousins and i were wearing them. At the time we thought it was a good idea.

When we walked into the club, the music was good and the dancefloor was packed...
Since the rest of them had never been to a club, they were just taking in the whole scene and I was amused just watching them lol. We were about to venture onto the dancefloor when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone move to the left of our group...I turned and I swear I went into shock, lol. I told my cousins to look too, and I swear we just stood there in disbelief...one of our uncles was there too!
WTF? Why was he there? I didn't care I just didn't wanna be caught I was supposed to be at silvercity, lol. First thing I did was try to turn off the glowing blue necklace I had on..it didn't work! so, i stood there as my uncle walked up to us. he was looking all nervous, stuttering and trying to explain why he was at an all ages jam at calypso hut by himself, lol. he said it was because he came to get food for my aunt, LOL.
yeah, sure whatever - i didn't care why he was there, I knew then that he wouldn't say anything about me being there...
After that the night was good...one of the best memories I have of leading my cousins astray, lol.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Lost...

I started watching LOST a couple weeks ago and i'm hooked.
This addiction isn't really a surprise because i'm intrigued by planes and anything plane-like, lol.
so when this series promised to shock me with tales of survivors of a plane crash, stranded upon some mysterious uncharted island..
i had to see what it was all about.
Last week I watched every episode....and for the past couple nights I haven't been sleeping properly. Why?? because i'm having Lost-mares! It's crazyy but soo true. I wake up in the middle of the night, see the hallway light and start calling out to the 'other survivors', telling them "i can see a light -- we're saved!" LOL...yes, i have some serious issues with this show...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Power Rangers!


You know you want to be one too!

...taken the day after my brother's after prom party at my house. my cousins and i were going to get breakfast, it was only 3pm -- fun times for everyone!

nice eyes...

so i was at A&P a couple weeks ago getting bread and apples, when i noticed this new employee. LOL..
my brother and I go to the grocery every other day, so i notice these things with ease :)
this guy was different from the others...he was BROWN! i could tell he was of west indian descent lol - how i knew that is beyond me, i can just tell... sometimes.
When I went out to my car, he was fixing the carts or whatever it is they do there and he came over and started to talk..he asked my name and where i was from...he's guyanese, lol i told you i can tell sometimes.
you know, i should have known better but he had some nice eyes lol.
so we talked for a while and then out of nowhere he asked if i cared that he was older..please, i had noo objections.
seriously he only looked like he was 22 max, so i asked him how old he thought i was... he said 15! wtf?? who can drive legally at that age??
at that point i don't know why i bothered but i had to ask how old he was...
he was 17.

looks can definitely be deceiving...damn.

lessons learned

book-wise is not street-wise, and without the other it's a struggle to survive.
good is good, bad is bad LOL that's just the way it is.
sounds soo simple, but sometimes it just isn't so easy to understand that.

good and bad don't have to be right or wrong though! yes...complicated i know but completely true.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

After all...

People say that what's meant to be will...
but how do we know if something is really supposed to happen
or
if it's really supposed to be?
...and do we just forget everything that made it not right in the first place?
Everything...that at the time made us feel like the world we knew was being tortured til the end. I don't know or maybe right now I can't understand why..

Why are we back to a place I thought I left behind a year ago?

ONE year and all I can do is ask why!
why didn't you let go?
why do I want to start again?
why do I only remember rare good things instead of the many bad things?

You can't deny what happened was your fault.
You made me hate everything - up to the sound of your voice, and I don't hate easily.
I cut you out of my life, and used to always miss something I couldn't explain. Maybe that's why I kept looking back...
I dont want to accept it, but i understand it because after all is said and done, nothing matters unless we allow it to.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Purple Gold



This is what new technology can do for you. It can't really help us invent new ways to make the lines on the road but it can make new, prettier kinds of gold! Even though you need to go to third world countries, buy poor families children and put them to work mining the gold...it's all good because it's worth it when you can make it purple, lol.
Yes, I own gold. I also love my rings and I will probably buy some purple gold one day. I won't sell any children I might ever have though. This is very confusing - I don't know why I am angry now. Maybe it's because the gold is purple. I don't really like purple tooo much, I would prefer if it was magenta or even mauve, but it had to just be plain old purple...i am so disappointed, lol.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

nooo

soo i went for a dreadful drive to the gas station a few days ago...upon entering the station i was shocked - SHOCKED to see 1.29! what the hell is that about?
yes, I know prices are high right now, but they should have seen me pull in and shown some kind of respect, lol. Usually it takes approx. $30 to fill my tank with premium gasoline at normal rates....BUT at these cut-throat rates I spent $20 on low grade gas for barely half a tank! That's just ridiculous. I hate gasoline..no I like gasoline it has a nice smell - I hate the cost of it right now, it isn't nice. In fact, it's very bad. Very, very bad indeed.

Monday, September 05, 2005

something to think about

When you were born,
you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die,
the world cries and you rejoice.

The Giver


This book is amazing. The plot is intense, and it just flows so well.
There's this boy Jonas, and he lives in a utopian society. The world he's grown to know is one that's so structured that an individual's emotions barely exist. In his world, people lives are dictated to them...who they will become, what they will do - is not in their control.
I can't begin to describe the journey you will go through as you read this book, the sequence of events keep a very strong hold on the reader.
The content is unlike any you would expect and as such, it has lead to the book being banned from elementary schools on more than one occasion.

I read this back in grade six, and since then I haven't found any other that comes close to it.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Yop

http://gprime.net/video.php/yopcommercial

this could possibly be the best commercial ever...

hell no


Today my sisters were watching a movie about FURBY. Yes...the scary little creatures that have NO arms are back. I don't know who came up with the idea for this toy, but it was WRONG. Furbys are not cute little toys...they are evil - EVIL!
They speak in strange tongues, and their eyes are piercing. Beware of them, you've been warned.

TV



Far, very far from here, in a little village full of mushroom-shaped houses live the Smurfs. The little characters are three apples high, have blue skin and are dressed in white trousers and a cap. Yet they are a happy, easy-going bunch - give or take one or two..I can't really say at this time who those may be, but i know they aren't happy smurfs.
I was soo hooked on the smurfs, i don't know what it was but they were little, blue and always had some kinda drama going on -- smurfette was always trying to seduce someone, and Gargamel wanted to exterminate their species...so all in all, there was never a dull moment.

I even went to a pre-school called Smurfs and Smurfettes. I loved that school..I always wanted to go the next day because I thought I'd finally get to meet the smurfs...How could i know that the students really were the smurfs?
It's okay though, because now i've come to realize that smurfs may just be a cartoon...

one thing that I do know for sure: Alf is real.

fear

Religion is an essential part of life for all people. You can say no, but whatever you believe - that is your religion.
Personally, I don't like how religion can dictate a person's life. If you accept it, fine...but don't impose your views on anyone else. My family isn't just of one faith - we're everything. Maybe not jewish...but I'm sure you understand what I mean.

In this world where wars are fought in the name of religion, it's clear to see that it really isn't religion but the people themselves who stray from their beliefs. Instead they choose to disect and splice together their beliefs into the original faith to wash away their guilt.
Suicide bombers in the middle east...they call them martyrs. A martyr is defined as someone who suffers for their beliefs, refusing to turn their back on their religious principles. So why do we call murderers martyrs? What they do is not for the society, it's done for their gain. But i guess greed is okay if you're a martyr... or maybe it's okay then to kill innocent people to gain power. I don't know, I'm not a martyr - atleast i'm not like them.
They all say they are killing in the name of their God, but in the Koran, as well as the bible it is stated that if one kills themself they will go straight to hell.
For all their ranting that religion is everything to them, they are quick to turn a blind eye to the teachings that don't suit them.
That's a blatant double standard, one that should not exist. It just allows chaos to roam free.
And if individuals should do stupid things, does it mean that all of the poeple in that group will be the same? I think not. For anyone who believes that all terrorists are muslims, and therefore muslims are bad.. what planet do you live on?
Terrorists are everywhere...when the oklahoma bombing happened, did the rest of the world shun all americans? NO..in that same way, all muslims are not bad.

needles...



umm yeah...i really want to go for a checkup now.

what??

If you can answer these, you may just have too much time on your hands, lol.
Why do they sterilize the needle before a lethal injection?

Why do we call them apartments when they are all together?


If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?


Why does Denny's have locks on the door if it's open 24 hours?


Why do people press harder on the remote control buttons when the battery is dead?


Why is there Braille on drive-thru ATM buttons?

Why are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink?

Why is there a sign at the Post Office that reads: "No Animals Allowed, Except Seeing Eye Dogs". Think about it.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the time of day with the slowest moving traffic called rush hour?

Saturday, September 03, 2005

news, lol

http://
news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050828/wl_uk_afp/britainaustriaoffbeat

Now don't you feel more complete knowing that there is such a place? I thought so.

duckies



Is a picture really worth a thousand words?? Try and tell me no, lol.

hmm..

right...so i woke up and I'm feeling like I have some kind of hangover. My head is spinning, the room looks like it's not one I know and the light hurts mah eyes! Now see, that's unfounded because I didn't drink last nite! If I did, then it would be all good....consequences and what not, lol. Ohh...it could be that I had to wake up only FIVE hours after I finally fell asleep ..when you have little sisters, you can never sleep when they don't want you to!
What's done is done though...can't fall asleep again, so what can i do?

All for One and One for All?

I don't understand why people just can't be more compassionate..it always comes back to individual gratification. As long as the individual is okay, then why should anything else matter? I do not like that attitude....it limits what we can achieve. Take for example the situation in America right now, Hurricane Katrina has left the States struggling to repair the damages left in her wake. People are dying and hope is fading at such a fast pace.
On tv, we see poor, mainly black people looking like they are clueless and scared. Some are angry and they are turning on each other. I've tried to understand why, but honestly if I lived in the most powerful country, and I was left to die like that....I don't think I would take it well.

FOUR days without any food or water....it makes you think that nobody cares. It's as if they're trying to wash away the economical faults of the country, raise the poverty line.

But that couldn't be the case, because:

1) The government is sending aid now - yes, it really has been four days.

2) Even though there are rumours that they want to open the floodgates, drowning the remaining citizens as they flood the city -- there are no "gates". There ARE Levees...if one was to be left broken because the army can't fit the sandbags to the choppers properly, or if another one was to break and uncontrollable water was to enter the city, then perhaps the people might die.

3) There is only so much that can be done at a time. There was a warning to evacuate, and even though they did not have the means by which to leave, the stranded ppl should have known better, right?

4) Government says that the city will be fixed....it's gonna take years but i'm sure the residents can just live in the relief camps all that time.

with these things to consider, how can you even start to think that the US doesn't want to save those people? It just takes a long time for them to help their own, colour has nothing to do with anything - even though when they sent buses for the people at the superdome, they had to wait until the guests from the hotel next door were sent on first. It didn't matter that the guests from the hotel were clean, wearing good clothes and had all their things, they had to be first.

On a fundraising show, Kanye West had some harsh words for the President. He was quoted saying the pres. "doesn't care about black ppl...america is set up to help the poor, the black, the less well off as slow as possible."
He also stated "I hate the way they portray us in the media. If you see a black family, it says they're looting. See a white family, it says they're looking for food...they've given them permission to go down and shoot us."

People are dying, and that should not be the case in a country as powerful as the USA. If the government is taking it's time to respond, then why not come together...instead of segregating themselves further? They should understand they are trapped and must survive - together.

what happened?

Nobody can make you believe what you don't want to believe. But if there is any doubt in your mind over what you thought was true could be false, then aren't you believing it...
I found this on the net a while back...is it just another conspiracy theory?


http://www.freedomunderground.org/memoryhole/pentagon.php#Main